Everyone wants to be treated with kindness, it’s the golden rule most people have heard since kindergarten. And yet as adults, many people don’t experience kindness in their workplace.
The reality is that kindness often comes with barriers that make it inconvenient. Acts of kindness go well beyond simply being nice. When a person is truly practicing kindness, they are skillfully balancing niceness with consideration and generosity for others. Kindness often costs us something – whether that’s time, additional effort, our own comfort, or a dig to our ego or pride – and humans naturally don’t lean into things that they know will cause them a loss.
Kindness is a skill that can be taught and relearned at any age, and it grows stronger the more it is shown and practiced.
There are a variety of ways we can show kindness in our daily lives; especially at work. An easy way to identify your kindness skills is to see how your actions align with the three levels of kindness. Each level has its own benefits and types of actions; politeness is the necessary foundation for all levels.
- Common Kindness. Common Kindness is the level most people are familiar with. It can look like your daily pleasantries where you hold the door for the person walking into the building behind you or join your online meetings a few minutes early so you can greet and see how others are doing. This first level is a great place to start with people who you don’t know or don’t work with often.
- Confetti Kindness. Confetti Kindness is the level that tends to reward the giver as much as the recipient. It can look like paying it forward in the coffee drive through or surprising your team with lunch. This level can be a great kindness recheck for yourself when you or others notice you have been struggling to show kindness as deeply as you would like.
- Deep Kindness. Deep Kindness is the level that requires a commitment to consistency and giving without any expectation of kindness shown in return. This level of kindness shows unconditional care despite the other person’s shortcomings. Deep Kindness is rooted in empathy and moving from trying to fix things for others and simply sharing their feelings. Learn more about Deep Kindness in Houston Kraft's book.
Showing kindness in your workplace, no matter the level, takes courage and a willingness to be uncomfortable and to act without knowing how it will be received. Overall, kindness in the workplace has the power to create stronger teams and a positive, connected culture; it is not something to be overlooked even though the conversation may seem elementary.
Nexus Family Healing is a national nonprofit mental health organization that restores hope for thousands of children and families who come to us for community mental health services, foster care and adoption, and residential treatment. For over 50 years, our network of agencies has used innovative, personalized approaches to heal trauma, break cycles of harm, and reshape futures. We believe every child is worth it — and every family matters. Access more resources at nexusfamilyhealing.org/resources.