The first time Nexus-Kindred Family Healing Foster and Adoptive Parent Cherie and her family met their Nexus Family Healing social worker, Michaela, they were immediately disarmed by her cheerful smile and genuine demeanor.
“We were expecting narrowed eyes and sharply directed questions, we were instead met with gratitude and grace,” said Cherie. Michaela went through the mountains of paperwork they had completed and the home safety checklist, while Cherie nervously chattered to her about the state of one of their bathrooms, mostly used by their four boys. Michela laughed at her nervousness and reassured her that she had done a good job – homes must be lived in, after all.
From that day on, they knew they had an advocate. More than that, Michaela became part of their family. She walked them through the heartbreak when their first placement left to live with family after three short months, which was long enough to bond with them in a very meaningful way.
“She listened to our needs when another placement came along with some severe mental health concerns, and she did everything she could to make sure those needs were met,” said Cherie. “We did not know the ins and outs of insurance or securing care, but Michaela did the heavy lifting for us every time.” If they ever had a question, she was quick to answer, and they never felt alone through any issues that came up, and this kept them together as a (foster) family.
Michaela would bring small gifts when she came over, like donated pajamas for their girls, and some that she had picked up on her way based on what Cherie’s daughters said they liked at her last visit (e.g. a favorite kind of cookie or chips). “We knew she was going the extra mile to love on our family,” said Cherie “and we heard the same from every family on her caseload. How could someone make everyone feel so seen?”
When their second placement also left, and Cherie’s heart hurt, Michaela sent encouragement and continued to be there for them.
“She let us take our time to open our home again, checking in on us without any ulterior motives to get a child placed with us,” said Cherie, “and when we were ready, she made the process as simple as possible, while making sure everything was up to date.”
When Michaela moved out of state to be closer to her family, Cherie and her family were understanding, but devastated.
“We truly felt like we had found a diamond in the rough, and no one would be like her again,” said Cherie.
Down the road when they re-licensed with Nexus, after taking a couple years to simply “be” after two adoptions in two years, they met their new interim social worker, Stacy Sikorski, now Operations Director at Nexus-Kindred.
“I’m not sure exactly what it was about her, like an attribute that cannot be described, only felt,” said Cherie. “My foster daughter, who is very skeptical and stand-offish to social workers, immediately took to Stacy…when I smiled knowingly and asked my foster daughter why she liked her so much, she said, ‘She’s just genuine,’ And I agree wholeheartedly.” Often, youth in foster care can spot phony behavior a mile away. “They can tell by the way someone breathes,” said Cherie “It is so innate for them to tell who’s honest with them and who isn’t.”
Once again, they gained a social worker who felt like family. Stacy repeated the kindness and thoughtfulness toward Cherie’s family, just like they had experienced before. For example, when Stacy found out Cherie’s foster daughter loves Chick-Fil-A salads, and that they didn’t have one close by, she stopped on her way to a visit and got a salad for her.
“She didn’t have to, but she did,” said Cherie “That’s the kind of village we have holding us up, and it makes a difference beyond words.”
These social workers’ kind gestures aren’t just in their visits to the home. Every time Cherie emailed a question or concern, they were there without judgment. They listened and affirmed how Cherie was feeling. Behind the scenes, the paperwork is being done well, and they work with county workers to advocate for the best of the child and the whole family.
“What unsung heroes!” said Cherie, “What a difference it all makes so I can keep doing my job as a parent and foster parent…when people want to applaud me for being a foster mom, I always think of the people who are “behind the scenes” doing the work to hold us up.”
“To any social worker who may read this: thank you will never be enough,” said Cherie, “Every time a child has a small or great victory, you are directly to thank for that. Every time a family is reunited, you are part of that joy. Every time a child is adopted, your handiwork is woven into the fabric of the new family.”
